389+ Best Sarcastic Captions For Boys and Girls – 2020

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Hello friends, today I will tell you about some Sarcastic Captions that you will be very happy after reading, In this post, I will tell you about Sarcastic Captions with different categories like Lovely Sarcastic Captions, Best Sarcastic Captions, Funny Sarcastic Captions, Short Sarcastic Captions,  Awesome Sarcastic Captions, Superb Sarcastic Captions, and Great Sarcastic Captions, etc so if you also want to know about Sarcastic Captions then this post is for you and you can read this post completely.

Best Sarcastic Captions

Lovely Sarcastic Captions

  • “Fighting with me is like being in the Special Olympics. You may win, but in the end, you’re still a retard.”
  • “Work tip: Stand up. Stretch. Take a walk. go to the airport. Get on a plane. Never return.”
  • “Well, at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.”
  • “I’m sorry. I know I said hi, but I wasn’t really prepared for any follow-up conversation.”
  • “My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”
  • “I don’t always tolerate stupid people. But when i do, I’m probably at work.”
  • “Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.”
  • “One might be led to suspect that there were all sorts of things going on in the Universe which he or she did not thoroughly understand.” – Kurt Vonnegut
  • “Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.”
  • “It’s weird, marriage. It’s like this license that gives a person the legal right to control their spouse / their ‘other half.” – Jess C. Scott

Best Sarcastic Captions

  • “Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.”
  • “People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.”
  • “Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.”
  • “If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.”
  • “I can explain it to you but I can’t understand it for you.”
  • “My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.”
  • “So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?”
  • “Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.”
  • “I haven’t even gone to bed yet and I already can’t wait to come home from work tomorrow.

Best Sarcastic Captions

  • “A half-truth is a whole lie.”- Yiddish Proverb
  • “Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.”
  • “Nobody really cares if you’re miserable, so you might as well be happy.” – Cynthia Nelms
  • “I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.”
  • “What are the proper proportions of a maxim? A minimum of sound to a maximum of sense.” – Mark Twain
  • “I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.”
  • “An optimist thinks that this is the best possible world. A pessimist fears that this is true.” – Robert Oppenheimer
  • “Sarcasm: Helping intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.”
  • “The more that learn to read, the less learn how to make a living. That’s one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living.” – Will Rogers
  • “Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”

Sarcastic Captions  On Smile

  • “It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.”
  • “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” – Oscar Wilde
  • “You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”
  • “Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.”
  • “History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.” – Abba Eban
  • “If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.”
  • “I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.” – Albert Einstein
  • “I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.”
  • “Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted.” – (Sign in Albert Einstein’s Office)
  • “Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?”

Sarcastic Captions For Boys

  • “In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep.” – Albert Einstein
  • “I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.”
  • “Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school.” – Albert Einstein
  • “If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.”
  • “If anything can go wrong, it will.” – Murphy’s Laws
  • “Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
  • “Left to themselves, things tend to go from bad to worse.” – Murphy’s Laws
  • “If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”
  • “If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.” – Murphy’s Laws
  • “I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.”

Sarcastic Captions For Girls

  • “What we feel and think and are is to a great extent determined by the state of our ductless glands and viscera ” – Aldous Huxley
  • “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”
  • “Reality is just a crutch for people who can’t cope with drugs.” – Robin Williams
  • “I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.”
  • “God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.” – Robin Williams
  • “I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.”
  • “Politics: ‘Poli’ a Latin word meaning ‘many’; and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.” – Robin Williams
  • “Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.”
  • “Ah, yes, divorce … from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet.” – Robin Williams
  • “Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.”

Funny Sarcastic Captions

  • “Find your patience before I lose mine.”
  • “Money can’t buy love, but it sure gets you a great bargaining position.” – Murphy’s Laws
  • “Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.”
  • “The more beautiful the woman is who loves you, the easier it is to leave her with no hard feelings.” – Murphy’s Laws
  • “Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” – Ashleigh Brilliant
  • “Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.”
  • “It’s a match made in heaven…by a retarded angel.” – Woody Allen
  • “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”
  • “People that pay for things never complain. It’s the guy you give something to that you can’t please.” – Will Rogers
  • “Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.”

Short Sarcastic Captions

  • If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, it’s because you’re both heading in the same direction.
  • Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems
  • I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.
  • That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.
  • I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
  • Tell me. Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted
  • Violence won’t solve anything. But it sure makes me feel good.
  • People say that laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
  • I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.
  • Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
  • I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
  • Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you, they can’t laugh either.
  • The whole purpose of sending a text is to get a reply within seconds or minutes, otherwise, I would have sent a letter by fu*king mail.
  • Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. Some girls are made of sarcasm, wind, and everything fine.
  • If you want to change the world, do it while you’re single. Once you’re married you can’t even change the TV Channel.
  • Need money for college. Need college for a job. Need a job for money. Who was the mastermind behind this system?
  • Askhole. A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them.
  • My attitude in exams. They give me questions I don’t know. I give them answers they don’t know.
  • I may look calm, but inside my mind, I’ve killed you 20 times, in 5 minutes, in 20 different ways.
  • Babies are so lucky. They can sleep all day and everyone still would be proud of them.
  • If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  • Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
  • I don’t believe in plastic surgery,
  • But in your case,
  • Go ahead.
  • Tell me… Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?
  • Silence is golden.
  • duct tape is silver.
  • I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.
  • People say that laughter is the best medicine…
  • your face must be curing the world!
  • Violence won’t solve anything…But it sure makes me feel good.
  • You go girl! And don’t come back.
  • I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
  • Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.
  • That is the ugliest top Ive ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.
  • I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll be glad to make an exception.
  • Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.

Sarcastic Captions for Friends

  • Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
  • If you’ve never met the devil in the road of life, its because you’re both heading in the same direction.
  • Well my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems
  • I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
  • Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!
  • Police pulls over a speeding car ;
  • I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
  • Don’t make me hit you again!
  • You’re going to hit me again? No, don’t do that! I might not survive!
  • Are you always this ret*rded or are you making a special effort today?
  • I’m not your type. I’m not inflatable.
  • I’d insult you, but the sad truth is that you wouldn’t understand and if I tried to explain it to you, your brain might implode from information overload.
  • Oh… I didn’t tell you… Then It must be none of your business.
  • You’d be in good shape…if you ran as much as your mouth.
  • I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane…
  • Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.
  • I went on a diet, stopped smoking dope, cut out the drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.
  • Sure I’ll help you out…the same way you came i
  • I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.
  • Teacher: We are going to play the quiet game.
  • Student: Are you playing too?
  • Think I am sarcastic?
  • Watch me pretend to care!
  • If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.
  • My friends are so much cooler than yours.
  • They’re invisible.
  • I’m smiling…that alone should scare you.
  • If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever
  • Look at you your in perfect shape……………for a circle
  • If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
  • Your just jealous because the voices only talk to me.
  • Expect nothing and you’ll never be dissapointed!
  • You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed
  • Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone… I realized I can do so much without you.
  • You did not just do that!!
  • Attempting to give a damn…
  • Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty…
  • You’re not that lucky and I’m not that desperate!
  • I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.
  • no? watch I’ll do it again!!

Sarcastic Captions for Pics

  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
  • When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.
  • It’s okay if you don’t like me. Not everyone has good taste.
  • You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.
  • Mirrors can’t talk, lucky for you they can’t laugh either.
  • If had a dollar for every smart thing you say. I’ll be poor.
  • I don’t believe in plastic surgery. But in your case, go ahead.
  • Are you always so stupid or is today a special ocassion?
  • I feel so miserable without you, it’s almost like having you here.
  • If you find me offensive. Then I suggest you quit finding me.
  • Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
  • I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face but with words.
  • I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.
  • I’m not saying I hate you, what I’m saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life.
  • I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew.
  • Sarcasm – the ability to insult idiots without them realizing it.
  • Unless your name is Google stop acting like you know everything.
  • Yet despite the look on my face… you are still talking.
  • Find your patience before I lose mine.
  • Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
  • Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. – Ashleigh Brilliant
  • Sarcasm: because arguing with stupid people just wouldn’t be as much fun.
  • Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.
  • Always remember that you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
  • Silence is golden. Duct tape is silver.
  • I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and don’t want to see your ugly mug every day.
  • I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.
  • Sarcasm: Helping the intelligent politely tolerate the obtuse for thousands of years.
  • Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.
  • People say that laughter is the best medicine… your face must be curing the world.
  • If at first, you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • My imaginary friend says that you need a therapist.
  • Let’s share… You’ll take the grenade, I’ll take the pin.
  • Fighting with me is like being in the special olympics. You may win, but in the end you’re still a ret*rd.
  • Well at least your mom thinks you’re pretty.
  • My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.
  • Just because the voices only talk to me doesn’t mean you should get all jealous. You’re just a little too crazy for their taste.
  • Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.
  • If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.
  • I clapped because it’s finished, not because I like it.

Pun Captions

  • I’m not listening, but keep talking. I enjoy the way your voice makes my ears bleed.
  • I’m not sarcastic. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.
  • Sarcasm, because beating the crap out of people is illegal.
  • Sarcasm is the body’s natural defense against stupidity.
  • I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time?
  • That is the ugliest top I’ve ever seen, yet it compliments your face perfectly.
  • Life’s good, you should get one.
  • No, you don’t have to repeat yourself. I was ignoring you the first time.
  • Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit! Yet it remains the funniest!
  • I’m sorry while you were talking I was trying to figure where the hell you got the idea I cared.
  • Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.
  • Well, my imaginary friend thinks you have serious mental problems.
  • I’ve got a good heart but this mouth…
  • Cancel my subscription because I don’t need your issues.
  • Me pretending to listen should be enough for you.
  • If you’re waiting for me to give a s*it, you better pack a lunch. It’s going to be while.
  • Ugliness can be fixed, stupidity is forever.
  • Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.
  • Are you always this ret*rded or are you making a special effort today?
  • You’d be in good shape… if you ran as much as your mouth.
  • If karma doesn’t hit you, I gladly will.
  • Keep rolling your eyes. Maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
  • Tact is for people who aren’t witty enough to use sarcasm.
  • You always do me a favor, when you shut up!
  • Tell me how I have upset you, because I want to know how to do it again.
  • I’m not crazy! The voices tell me I am entirely sane.
  • Sure I’ll help you out… the same way you came in.
  • Shut your mouth when you’re talking to me.
  • I’d agree with you but then we’d both be wrong.
  • Think I am sarcastic? Watch me pretend to care!
  • My friends are so much cooler than yours. They’re invisible.
  • If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.
  • You sound better with your mouth closed.
  • If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
  • I’m smiling… that alone should scare you.
  • If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.
  • If I promise to miss you, will you go away?
  • I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.
  • Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone. I realized I can do so much without you.
  • Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste.

Awesome Sarcastic Captions

  • A man can be happy with any women, as long as he does not love her.
  • What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically, better.
  • Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl who both loved each other. Then a sl*t came along and ruined everything. The end.
  • I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.
  • Love is a blind wh**e with mental disease and no sense of humor.
  • Everyone has the right to be stupid. But you’re abusing the privilege.
  • Some times you fall before you fly. In my case I had to stumble in the dark, fall on my face and get up again. Only to walk into the wall.
  • Some people are so poor that all they have is money.
  • We’re all in the same game; Just different levels. Dealing with the same hell; just different devils.
  • Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
  • Wake up thirsty at midnight…walk to the kitchen…switch off the lights you left on…latch the door you left open…forget to drink water. Come back to bed thirsty again!
  • Difference between school and life? School teaches you lessons and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test and you learn the lessons.
  • Opportunities are like sunsets. If you wait too long, you miss them.
  • I may look calm but in my mind I’ve killed you three times.
  • You can’t be a good example then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
  • My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.
  • Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.
  • No regrets in life. Just lessons learned.
  • There is a lesson in almost everything that you do, and getting the lesson is how you move forward. It is how you enrich your spirit.
  • Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
  • Do not let the behavior others destroy your inner peace.
  • If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.
  • You’ll never know if you can fly, unless you take the risk of falling.
  • Not everybody has to love me. I can’t force you to have good taste.
  • A man can be happy with any women, as long as he does not love her.
  • What’s a queen without her king? Well, historically, better.
  • Once upon a time, there was a boy and a girl who both loved each other. Then a s*ut came along and ruined everything. The end.
  • I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.
  • Love is a blind wh**e with mental disease and no sense of humor.
  • Everyone has the right to be stupid. But you’re abusing the privilege.
  • Some times you fall before you fly. In my case I had to stumble in the dark, fall on my face and get up again. Only to walk into the wall.
  • Some people are so poor that all they have is money.
  • We’re all in the same game; Just different levels. Dealing with the same hell; just different devils.
  • Don’t worry about what I’m doing. Worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.
  • Wake up thirsty at midnight…walk to the kitchen…switch off the lights you left on…latch the door you left open…forget to drink water. Come back to bed thirsty again!
  • Difference between school and life? School teaches you lessons and then gives you a test. Life gives you a test and you learn the lessons.
  • Opportunities are like sunsets. If you wait too long, you miss them.
  • I may look calm but in my mind I’ve killed you three times.
  • You can’t be a good example then you’ll just have to be a horrible warning.
  • My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do.

Superb Sarcastic Captions

  • Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it and he’ll have to touch it to be sure.
  • No regrets in life. Just lessons learned.
  • There is a lesson in almost everything that you do, and getting the lesson is how you move forward. It is how you enrich your spirit.
  • Speak when you are angry – and you’ll make the best speech you’ll ever regret.
  • Do not let the behavior others destroy your inner peace.
  • If you hang out with chickens, you’re going to cluck and if you hang out with eagles, you’re going to fly.
  • You’ll never know if you can fly, unless you take the risk of falling.
  • If you don’t want a sarcastic answer, don’t ask a stupid question.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving definitely isn’t for you.
  • If laughter is the best medicine, your face must be curing the world.
  • People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite.
  • Life is short. Smile while you still have teeth.
  • If I had just one hour left to live, I’d spend it in Math class…it never ends.
  • If you allow people to make more withdrawals than deposits in your life, you will be out of balance and in the negative. Know when to close the account.
  • The road to success is always under construction.
  • Always turn a negative situation into a positive situation.
  • Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
  • My mascaras too expensive to cry over stupid boys like you
  • Life goes on, with or without you
  • I’m just at a whole new ‘fuck it’ level
  • You cant do epic s**t with basic people
  • Don’t mistake my kindness for weakness, bi**h
  • I am Fiji water. You are toilet water
  • Proof that I can do selfies better than you
  • Her attitude is savage, but her heart is gold
  • I know I’m a handful, but that’s why you got two hands
  • Your the type of boy id make a sandwich for.
  • If Karma doesn’t hit you, l gladly will
  • Revenge? Nah, I’m too lazy I’m going to sit here and let Karma fuck you up.
  • Turn ya savage up and lose ya feelings.
  • As lost as Alice As mad as the Hatter.
  • My lips are the gun. My smile is the trigger. My kisses are the bullets. Label me a killer.
  • I love the sound you make when you shut up.
  • Make them stop and stare.
  • Karma’s just sharpening her nails and finishing her drink. She says she’ll be with you shortly.
  • Treat me like a joke and I’ll leave you like it’s funny.
  • Bi*ch, I wanna slap you, but I don’t know in which face.
  • The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be Ready.
  • 50% Savage, 50% Sweetheart
  • I know looks aren’t everything, but I have them just in case.

Great Sarcastic Captions

  • Don’t stand too close to the heater babe. Plastic melts.
  • Raindrop. Drop top. All I do is eat non Stop.
  • Be a bad a*s with a good a*s
  • Catch flights, not feelings.
  • Do ya thing be.
  • Be a little more you, and a lot less them.
  • but my personality lit
  • sometimes you gotta be a beauty and a beast
  • You were my cup of tea but I drink champagne now
  • They say good things take time… That’s why I’m always late.
  • Braless is flawless.
  • Beauty attracts the eye, but personality captures the heart.
  • too glam to give a dam
  • I just don’t want to look back and think I could’ve eaten that
  • Hella heart eyes for you
  • queens don’t compete with hoes.
  • Just like the alphabet, Bi**h. I come before U.
  • You look like something I drew with my left hand.
  • There’s no we in fries.
  • I’m not always sarcastic sometimes I’m sleeping.
  • So blunt you can smoke my truth.
  • Me every day: Slay, Me in December: Sleigh.
  • I had to let go of us to show myself what I could do.
  • Humbe with just a hint of Kanye.
  • Shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick.
  • Just wing it. Life, Eyeliner, Everything.
  • I am 99% angel, but oh, that 1%…
  • I’m suffering an extreme case of not being Beyonce.
  • I’ve always loved the idea of not being what people expect me to be.
  • The uglier the snapchat the closer the friendship.
  • Catch flights, not feelings.
  • Nothing but blue skies.
  • LIfe is better when you’re laughing.
  • Make peace with your broken pieces.
  • Please sign in the air like I’m Nixon.
  • My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
  • She got mad hustle and dope soul.
  • I got a good heart but this mouth.
  • Bi*ch please, your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
  • Your biggest hater could be your closest friend. People pretend well.

Conclusion

I hope that after reading all these “Sarcastic Captions”, you must have got some help. With the help of this article, I told you some Sarcastic Captions like Lovely Sarcastic Captions, Best Sarcastic Captions, Funny Sarcastic Captions, Short Sarcastic Captions,  Awesome Sarcastic Captions, Superb Sarcastic Captions, and Great Sarcastic Captions, etc. I hope you like them. Now, in the end, I want to say that If you really liked our post then please give your feedback in comment and share it with your friends.

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